Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
