I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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