Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
