He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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