Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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