My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
