i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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