she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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