Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
