you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
