Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
