your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
