Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
