Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
