I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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