Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
