Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
accomplished twins. life is a go
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
