I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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