dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
vagina is talking i cant
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
