it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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