you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
