Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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