tell your sister to shave her snatch
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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