who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
