What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
