so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
