I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
