So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
