Acid is not a monday night drug
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
