I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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