I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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