I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
