So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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