and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
