Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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