i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
