Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
