ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
