i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
