He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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