I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
