So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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