Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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