So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
