Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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