Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
