Sponge bath it is.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
