DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
