for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
