You made me cry and you don't even care
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
