As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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