In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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