and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize