Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
