At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
