If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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