I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
