who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
