But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
