Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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