I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
