He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
