This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
