Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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