When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
