hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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