tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
