There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
