you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
