But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
